This is Louise’s story of her healing third birth at home.
Please be aware that some stories may trigger difficult memories and emotions so remember your own self care as everyone will be at different stages of healing.
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Thank You
I want to share how my story in the hope that what I have overcome could become part of somebody else’s survival guide. It inspired me to write about my journey of how I overcame birth trauma with my first baby and went on, 8 years later to birth my 3rd baby naturally at home.
My Story.
Nine years ago I had my first baby. I had planned to have a natural water birth, but at 38 weeks I developed what is known as HELLP Syndrome, a rare complication in pregnancy that can lead to death, either of baby or Mum.
As a result of the HELLP Syndrome I ended up being induced early, still hoping for my vaginal birth. However, after a fruitless 12 hours of labour, and the decline of my physical health, I was rushed off for an emergency Cesarean section under a general anaesthetic. I acted like everything was fine but I carried the weight of this traumatic for years, and even after the successful natural birth of my second son 2 years later, it wasn’t enough to shake the guilt and depression I still had looming over me from my 1st birth, Ayden’s birth.
Last year I fell pregnant again. I knew, via an intuitive dream, that I would be having, or at least, planning, a home birth. I consider myself to be quite a ‘crunchy’ mum, I am a *homeopath, we never see a doctor. I love all things natural etc… so I just thought “yeah, I’m going to have a homebirth obviously, because I’m crunchy AF… of course!” Ha! How I laugh at my ignorance now.
My homebirth was my biggest transformation to date. I healed parts of myself that were still stuck in Ayden’s birth that I didn’t even realise were still there. I healed childhood trauma that is not even in my conscious memory. I learned more about birth and my body than I ever knew before (seriously I went to antenatal in my first pregnancy really only for the tea, biscuits and new friends!). I overcame fear and doubt and I fully owned and embraced my body’s capacity to birth my baby naturally at home.
I knew that I needed to do this, not because I wanted a natural birth for my baby (I wanted that too), but because I wanted to feel grounded in and connected to my body, a feeling that I was a stranger to. I wanted to feel strong and empowered to birth my way, even when I knew that if I walked into a hospital and asked for a c-section they would more than happily give me one. I wanted to feel the experience of an empowering birth to help me heal from my traumatic one, and I want to use my story of birth, growth and transformation to inspire others to be able to do the same xx
I also want to add that I sought healing through a homeopath, and that is what lead me to become a homeopath myself… Healing is a journey that never seems to have an end point, we are always learning and growing, and while I can see (and i’ve had lots of help to realise this) what possibly lead to my traumatic birth in the first place, I don’t look back now in despair, guilt or regret, I look back in gratitude for the path that it put me on and the person that I have evolved in to because of it.
Thank you Louise x
You can find more about Louise on her website.
*please note that Unfold your Wings does not endorse any particular therapy used by those sharing their story.